There’s a knot in my core, and it twists so painfully whenever you are around. I have to remind myself that I’m not deserving of anyone or anything and that your attention is just innocent. We are getting to know each other as nothing more than friends. And you are much younger, or so it appears to someone so fixated on age and the distance every year brings between now and the times in my life when I deserved better and the world was mine if I wished it. But you laugh when I talk and it feels so good to know you aren’t laughing at me but rather find my humor amusing. And you’re kind and pay me the sort of attention I crave but know I can’t have. I am too scared and scarred on the inside and my exterior is one I can barely look at. So I think I’ll long for you but keep you at a distance. Because happiness is something I can only wish for and would never presume to have.
|Life is so damned hard. It just hurts people and hurts people, until finally it hurts them so that they can’t be hurt ever any more. That’s the last and worst thing it does. |
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Beautiful and the Damned (via larmoyante)
|I was tired of pretending that I was someone else just to get along with people, just for the sake of having friendships. |
-- Kurt Cobain (via ohsunbae)